Hello it's March already!

How time really flies and here I am appreciating all the positive vibe in my life. God, I love my life a lot. Having to know how life is worth exploring makes me think how wasted my life was during that few years back.

But now, I am here not to regret about the past but to appreciate about all the little good things I have now. I may not have everything that I want now but at least I found a piece of happiness and bit of peace.

I also started to appreciate positive things in life. Although I have to admit I could not run from negative vibe but still I am trying harder not to be in that group and if I have to be - I tried to convert it into some positive re-charge

So basically, February has treated me good. I've accomplished few little goals in my life which is not important to you but it is very important to me.

I bought an Iphone which I always wanted. And guess what?. I fall in love with it from the moment iI hold it.It's simple and modern. Although too many negative vibe about why I shouldn't get an Iphone - this time I really really  not interested to hear about what other people say or think about it anymore. Because you know why, it's my life.

I also started to explore some south-east local foods. And, I made the first move last month by choosing Vietnam famous Pho noodles. Not up to my standard but at least I can proudly say to people that I've tried Pho noodles.

So, that was it.

Stay strong and gorgeous.

Pho Noodle

Prawn Rolls

Kiwi + Green Apples

Oh my, January ends so fast and we are at the second week of February now.
I still can't believe that it is almost ( getting ) a year since I moved for good here.

Although there were loads of things that I missed about my country but now I must say - I am doing better and getting better bit by bit. I believe that there were no other things without a great sacrificing.

And, I am going to thank God to all that little things that he gave me. Thank you God for let me breathe again! I could not ask for more.

"Life is worth exploring".

I need to do something with that arms

So now I've been exercising for almost 3 weeks now. I lost about 2.5 KGs now. That was quite an achievement for me although this may sound just too little for you. But this is what makes me happy. You know nothing about it!

Although life being a bit busy now - I tried as hard it is to find time to work out. And, you know, working in Singapore wasn't that easy like what you think. Life here full of challenges. Either in career or fashion. Both plays two huge factors here.

I am trying as hard to keep up with that two factors. And for a starting, I got to get my ass to the gym like three times a week. That was so tiring! Especially when you got a rough day at office!

Fashion?. It's all like a competition here. And I must say - you gotta be mean. You just have to say straight to their face that -" hello, don't think you can bully me just because you got Kate Spade". So, everyday, you will see those crazy bitch face with fake face smiling on you and trying to be your friend and ditch you when you've got nothing good for them.

Still I am surviving and I learnt from the pain.

Message to all the bullies - Don't worry I send you a postcard when am up there. I'll promise!

Not everyone can deal with rejection. I am not so sure with me myself. But I guess, I could not handle it just to be honest to myself at least once and for all.

But human is always a human. We changed in a blink of eyes. Some may say no. But, I am dare to say that "Bullshit". Everyone changed just a matter of good or bad only.

I do changed. And I may say, I changed a little bit too fast. But it took me an ages to move on depending on how bad is the situation.

Everyone experience in some stages of life, feeling lost,heart-broken,losing hope etc.

And I did.

However, life must move on. And that's what I do.

Go travel. Experience new life new place see new people.

So, be brave. Don't afraid of changes.

After so long, I am back from my hiatus. It will never be the same writing here compared to my previous blog. Now, I've realized how much I grow fat and how much dull is my blog. I'll promise I will better soon.

They day was automatically changed after I hit my new job. It wasn't that bad but sometime I realized how much I am missing my old job. However, there is no point brought up things which already happened. I know my life is worth it. I just need to work harder to catch my dreams.

For now, I have the plan to en-roll myself on some professional cert. and activities. I do this, because I don't want to wake up and regret about my incompleteness. So here it is:

1. ACCA
2. Mandarin Class
3. Music class - Guitar
4. Pilates

So all I want is Patience and strong will !

It wasn't that bad at all yo!

Today marked my second day at work. I am happy to say that I found one Sabahan friend here. The best part, she sit next to my desk and the moment I knew that we came from the same place, I can't stopped talking to her. I talked to her like I've known her for 10 years already.

My first day was all about the company history, the do's and the don't. After that, I was left at my desk doing nothing and I ended up reading all the emails. It was 200 plus emails and I read them all. Not really like read them all completely lah....baca permulaan sikit,tengah-tengah,pastu ending. Lol.

So far, everything just fine for now. And, I thank you Lord for always guide me to the right path even sometimes I am stubborn and lose faith in you. I thank you for never let me go. Amen.

Anyway, I would like to share one story about somebody dear to me. She was married like 3 years ago or so. She finally, chose to file her divorce because of her abusing husband. The saddest thing was that, her husband took away her only child. And left her with tons of debts. She decided to leave and moved to a new place with some hopes that she can start a new life. But just recently, her ex came to her house and took the car which she has been driving for three years already. And that happened when she was away from the city.
She didn't make much comment about that but I can sense her pain.

As a female, I felt sad and pain for her. I know how it feels when someone who are very dear to us did something hurtful like that. In her case, the husband took away the son and run while she was working. He gave no sign nor warning. And after that, you leave her with all the debts and after so many years, after all what you did to her, you came back and took away the only thing that left. I don't understand with this kind of attitude. You claimed that she destroyed your life, but you never think yourself what have you done to her. You are not even giving any financial support to your family beside you beat her to almost dead. And now, you said she destroyed your life. As a friend to her and as a friend to you once, and if you are reading this, I hope God show you the right way. Everyone did mistakes. She, you, me - everyone of us have flaws.

Sometimes, the things just don't work out. And the more you force it to happen the more ugly it will be. Trust me, no point to keep hatred for the love which you can't get. That is painful to love someone who doesn't loved you back, I know. But human feeling is not a robot which you can programme. When it doesn't meant for you, it will never be no matter how hard you want it. It will never be. So why force? Why revenge?. You may hurt their feeling just for that temporary but for the long run that will hit you back.

Dear friends out there, I know it is pain to love someone who never love you back. Forgive and let go. With that, you can forget.

Pray and never lose faith to God dear friend.

Stay in love. Good night.

Taken by Samsung Note 2

Disappointment is one of life's most uncomfortable feeling. Disappointment can be anger, frustration and hurt or emotion that I couldn't describe by words.
I used to get disappointed very fast when my needs doesn't meet my expectations. I woke up from sleep one day and realized that I am getting worse. I get disappointed over some little things very fast. I let it affected the people surround me.

Disappointment and expectation makes me a negative person. I couldn't live happily when I was in Malaysia. I spent most of my precious time worrying over things that I should not.

One day, a person who is very dear to me suggested if I could consider to start over somewhere out from my cocoon. It has been running over my mind since then before I finally decided to move here a couple of months ago.

It didn't start very well of course. I got hiccups here and there. But then, I believe most people do face some kind of dilemma to let go and holding to past. It has been two months now and everything are just so new to me. I am getting know the people and the places here. It just felt like I am starting all over again from zero.

But I like it.

So here I write down some of the guide that I practised along the way to be the positive and happy me.

1. Give myself a permission to fully feel the pain. From there I slowly build an acceptance to the situation that I am dealing with.
2. Avoid unrealistic expectation.
3. Be true.
4.Think positive.

We all live under some circumstances that are not ideal. But, it''s not life is the problem.

P/S I finally got a job :)

It happened to be that one of my longest good friend invited me for a group whatsapp chat. It was good to chat and re-unite with the old schoolmates. But it turned out ugly when one of them acted like they knows everything about you where they don't.

I felt that was quite annoying especially when it involves false information. Like, "Ouh dia di Singapore bah tu sebab sa dingar dia kawin Chinese Singaporean."

Feel like I want to slap her straight to the face and let her learn how to get the information right first before she open her mouth. One thing about being the orang kampung who is kepoh and busybody is they never get the information correct and always came up with their great make-up stories. "Bayangkan bah,yang tinggal jauh berpuluh ratus ribu pun dia buli dapat update cerita konon,kalau betul tidak apa juga."

I'd like to tell you a story about what had happened to one of my friend. She work as a Programmer and one day she go back to her home town for a short holiday. As usual, the orang kampung kepoh asking about what is her job in Kuala Lumpur. So she keep repeating that she works as a Programmer. Little did she know, after some time- there was a rumor saying that she work as a GRO. We as a friend was like, what the hell is going on. The best part is, her old mother believed all the rumours about. "Ini unsur fitnah ni."

Luckily, she have a brother here and the brother help to explain to the mother about what is her job and what is she doing.

I am not looking down on those person who is not highly educated. But as a human being, can we just get the detail right before we open the mouth?. Sometime, those old chaps especially mothers ( not all but some) when rumour hits they sometime fall in to.

But sometime really, it is a waste of time to argue with orang kampung who think he or she knows everything. It is like talking to a stupido.

Google

I've been talking much about my love relationship in the previous blog that I'd really forget what exactly I want in life. I've been focusing so much in finding a true perfect love. Once you've been into a wrecked relationship, all I could ever say is, I just want a perfect true love.

No. I won't talk about a relationship today. But I'll talk about how to live a happy life. And that would be :

1. Start saving now. Don't wait until you are in mid thirties. For now, I stick to the plan of keeping a $500 aside every month.
2. Start exercising. May it be running for a start. For now, I start doing badminton every Monday and during my free time.
3. Start exploring new things. For now, I start going for swimming. Honestly, I am scared with water. But this is one thing that I need to overcome.
4. Spend more time outside rather than the on-line stuffs.
5. Spend every weekend with the loved ones. I find that, time is ticking and it makes me think that I do not want to miss every bit of the moment with that someone special.
6. Do the give and take practice. Remember, men is not a dog. It is not hurt to share the loads. Perhaps, we could treat them once in a while rather than they keep on paying our foods and any other stuffs like that.
7. Start to eat more fruits rather than meat.
8. Start to love yourself. Every bodies are beautiful. Believe yourself and the confidence will bring the best of yourself.
9. Be positive.
10. Always believe to God and never stop praying.

Till then. Love always!!

I couldn't sleep. I am practically has been an insomniac lately. No, it wasn't about the coffee. I'd stop taking caffeine for such a long time already. Could it be because I miss my country?.

Frankly, I will be coming home this Thursday. SK is away to Bali for a week and I have nowhere to go. This city is lovely but I just couldn't figure out what to do without him. So, tomorrow will be my second interview. I've rejected one interview today as I do not prefer to work on Saturday. The best part is, she can shoot me back by saying I'd informed her last minute. How last minute could it be as I told her 4 hours before?.Being me, I shoot her back. I know I am a foreigner but please I do not take that as one of the reason to bully me."Please Inai, jangan ko men-men sama sa ah."

Just a moment ago, SK asked me for a late night supper at Lavender. I told him,"No". Because I just don't feel like to and my money is running low. I'd say this because, before I left the country, my aunty taught me that sometime we have to learn how to say no to friends. She said, it is okay to be selfish. Because most of the time, people prioritize themselves first before friendship. Either you agree or disagree with me, this is the fact of life that everyone have to admit. Honestly, I started to agree with her. We live in a wild world,ain't we?

Alright,good night. Wish me luck for tomorrow.

P/S, I am a big fan of Avocado. You can call me Avo but that's not my name.

The thing about moving to a new place is that everything seem so new. At times, some people did taking things for granted from me. Sometimes, I looked back to myself - do I look that desperate?.

Susahnya mahu setup hidup baru.

Let me tell you a story about the recent interview which I went. The job scope which they advertised were so much different from what they described to me. And  believe it or not, they asked me to do sales. They said not enough people. Lucky I asked them, what kind of sales they are talking about.

"Sending flyers to door to door."

I was like. Buduh ni orang ni tau.

To be frank, I am not a fresh graduate. I have wide experience in some areas and holds an authorized degree. I am not saying this to boost about myself but I certainly cannot accept the fact of these nonsense people who tries to downgrade me.

And sarcasticly I said before I left, you both are mom and daughter? Because you look alike.

Padan muka kamu. Terasa diri itu tua kan?. Maklumlah, perempuan ni sensitive pasal isu penuaan ni.

Haha. Kotoh.

Source : Google

The thing about moving to a new place is that you have to familiarize the street and getting to know the new neighbourhood. I am not so used to converse in Chinese. The only communication that I am good at is English. And honestly, I missed my mother-tongue.

The first week when I was here, I spent almost everyday watching movie online. SK brought me for a movie with some of his good friends that I barely know on the first day when I reach here. Then I spent the rest of the week by sleeping. ( I guess )

I bet he can sense my boredom,and finally he invited me for a short work out with his childhood friend Alan. It has been like so many many years that I have never done any badminton. To think back, I am quite a joke on that day. I barely can't hit the shuttle cock and my stamina was a failure.

I soon realized  how much I need to do a work out . I can't even take it even for 15-minutes.
I am fat. I am just fat and I hate it.

Fullstop.