When I was a kid, I have wrote quite a number of lists about my dream man. I used to fantasize my dream man as attentive,faithful, loyal and understanding. Plus a bit sense of humour will be good. And to add, romantic. Not forgetting, respect to one another.

I'd like the idea about a man who surprises his girlfriend. I'd like the idea about a man who holds his girl's hands and hug her most of the time when they walk down the street. I'd like the idea about a man who tells his girl how much he is into her. But in reality, you will never going to meet a perfect man who lived like what you have in your fantasy world.

In search of true love I've stumble with some stupid ass-hole may it from working place,friends of friends or online dating ( nah, I am kidding ).

The thing about me. I have an addictive thinking. There are time when I do judge based on first impression. There are times when I shoot a question and when they hit the wrong answer, I'll just back off. And of course, it never bring me to that true love after-all.

Until one day, someone asked me about my definition of true love. At some point, I want a relationship like a fairy-tales. Like the Cinderella or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Honestly, it's killing me but fairy tales never exist. We can't keep a man with us 24/7 if that's what we called attentive. We can't change a man according to your needs because they are not a dog. Nonetheless, you are lucky if they hit 80% of your wishlist.

So, I have to admit that I am quite a perfectionist. But when it come to finding the right person, trust me nobody are perfect enough. Will it fair enough if I say, we have to judge ourselves first before we put the point on someone?.

Morale of the stories, when he choose you that's because you meant everything for him. Like I say, nobody are perfect so learn to appreciate.

P/S and please stop the addictive thinking. Be like kiwi. Green and peace.

Some say the ugliest words when they are angry. Some just shut up and listen. Some just walked off. And I am the type who says the ugliest words whenever I am angry and upset.

One of the silliest mistake I've done was saying this nonsense, "Fuck You" to someone who is very dear to me. It started on last Thursday afternoon. I am not so sure what was wrong with me that I lose control. We were shouting at each other. We were mad at each that perhaps and I hope that we don't (even) know what we were saying. What's even worst, I can't remember what we fight about.

Now, I am wondering what is he thinking. And it's hurting me when we don't even talk to each other.

Some say, loving too much can be heaven and hell. Often, I met a couple who says things like they never even fight even once. On the other side of the world, I met with an elder who told me stories like, anger and fighting will always exist in every relationship.

Today marked the fifth day.

"Dude,you are crazy and I am out of my mind".

P/S,I am sorry.