When I am writing this, it's exactly 10 p.m here. Not even a new year yet.

Didn't do much thing this year unlikely last year which what I could remember - I spent my night just outside having some alcohol with Max just as soon I got off from the plane.

So, I went to the gym. Just thinking to shed some fats away since I've been eating bad this weeks. Particularly, since last week.

By the way, this is how my gym looks like. It's located somewhere at Fushionopolis. They do have branches at other place too. But what I loved being here is that, the place are quite big and they have their own balcony just for you to enjoy the scenery while doing your own Yoga or just feel like relaxing after long work out.

By the time I finished everything, its already like 5pm. Took a shower and headed home. I remember was eyeing some Barcardi last night. But after deep thought, I decided to stay healthy and start juicing. Haven't really start juicing but I will. I'll promise that to myself.

So was idling at home, thinking to dinner or just shake. Finally, I told myself ~~ let's go easy and slow.

This is how my dinner looks like. I found a new cafe just newly open few blocks away from where I stay. Not that kind of fancy restaurant. It just some cafe with Japanese concept.

I had my dinner for like two hours while having a smoothies as my desert. Shouldn't do that actually. Anyway, like I've said - let's go easy.

So, I've done my gym and I had my dinner as well. By the time I am writing this, I am also doing some face scrubs. I had the mask all over my face now. Sounds like so aunty hor??. Biarlah bah asal sa senang hati~~~

So this going to be my last post for the year. I guessed I've been writing this all over again and I always wished that things ended well. Although, this year wasn't that good but indeed it left me with some good memories as well as some lessons to learn. In fact, I am blessed because if it wasn't that bad experience, it won't bring me that far like now. And am glad.

Good night. Twenty Fifteen will be an awesome and blooming year!

Last few months back, I started my first journey to explore Singapore. The first place I went was the Singapore Flyer. So this is the Singapore Flyer taken blurry via my Xiomi Phone.

This was the scenery from the top of Singapore Flyer. Basically, if you want something romantic you should come over at night. The view is more spectacular compared to the day light.

Two weeks after that, I went to the Garden By The Bay. I actually already bought a ticket earlier but boyfriend got a sponsored ticket in.

Honestly, I never know that they called this a Super Tree, I just got to know this recently. Before that, I called this "Pokok Rumbia" LoL.

Well, I 'll suggest to visit this place in the evening time as you can see the  lights from the super tree. It awesome. But I went on a daylight, so I missed it.

This is the Marina Bay Sands. I never been there yet. But you can snap the photo when you go to the Garden By The Bay. Easy peasy.

So for this year, I've managed to go few places which I've seen on TV and heard from people.

I also accomplished my goal to signed up for a gym.

I managed to run half of the trek at the sport field near where I lived.

I've overcome my fears of letting go a car and I am done dealing with the lawyer.
I started to write a short stories, which I always wanted to.
Not forgetting, I slowly overcome my fear. I learned that, no matter hard the situation is I must face my fear in order to move on.

I am also proud of myself as I do not survive through paycheck by paycheck anymore. I must say, I've started saving for the future just two months ago.

I do not go for shopping blindly. I buy what I need not what I wants.

I started to eat green. Which actually I hate the most, but I've learn about toxin and how it harm the body.

I've learned to take care and to love myself more  rather than pleasing everyone. And most importantly, I accept myself. I am beautiful in my own way :)

On top of everything, I am trying to go for a holiday.

I will need to learn to be more patience and trust.

I will need to be consistent on my gym.

Keeping praying for a miracle to come soon where I do not have to work 5.5 days anymore.

Visit my mom and my family more often. And take them for a holiday~ finger crossed!
Stop spending money intensively on body massage.
To start reading bible daily. Even for a short ones.
To start paying my debts.
Keep my skin routine consistently.
Buy present for my family and loved ones on their special day.
Be more generous and kind to needy people.
I will need to learn to say thank you and I am sorry when it needs.
And...

Last but not least, put God at the first place in everything I do.

Happy New Year everyone. I hope the 2014 doesn't hurt you so much but brings more good memories inside your heart. May this 2015, will be your dream comes true!

Amen.

Last month I went back home to visit my mom. Guess what, she was complaining how fat I am since I've moved out from the country. I surely can figure out which part she is referring at. But I'll just keep it to myself.

It has been always my goal to get fit and healthy. But with the fat that I have now, I lose some confidence in me.

So, I told my boyfriend how much I hate my body and make a promise to him that I would be doing the Ogawa everyday even after I join the gym. For some reason, I am not sure why I need to assure him that I will be hitting the gym daily. Maybe perhaps, I am afraid to let him know that I will be spending money on some stupid stuffs? ( Because yeah, selalu shopping on something not useful kan..) Or maybe I am just too guilty to spend some money on something that I wasn't sure will work on me.

Well, a big tap to me. I finally in.

Been working out for almost three weeks now. But lately, I get lazy. However, I tried as hard as I can to erase the laziness that I have inside. Managed to shed some fats and lose about 2.5KGs.

I can tell, this is ain't that easy. With Christmas week, we received Turkey and Hams almost everyday. Not forgetting the cakes and chocolate. I then earned back my 2.5kgs back. Quite frustrating as it ain't that easy to shed some fat.

So back to the question, to gym or not to gym. My answer is - yes to gym. Your body stays longer than that luxury bag that you could ever imagine!

Stay fit and healthy!

My daughter,

I wish you could read this. I wish you could hear me. You were just two years old when he took you away from me. Forgive me my child, I wish I could do better. There are times where I wish I could ever turned back time. 

It's bitter to let you go. It's hurt to know that you'll be growing up miles and miles away from me. It's hard going to sleep at night without a goodnight kiss. It's hard to wake up on weekend without you nagging for a milk. It's even too hard now knowing that we may probably will never have the chance to see each other anymore.

I miss you. I miss you a lot. Remember your first word, mi . That's for mommy. You were just two and the first word came from you was Mi . That makes me the proudest mommy in the world.

My child, my bless and prayer will be with you as always. May the good knowledge be with you. My prayer will be always be with you so that you will be growing up as ......

*********************************************************************************

She could not finished her letter. She was devastated. She was staring at the window, looking at the snow falling down. Her eyes filled with tears.

The woman's strength is in love.

"You will never feel the pain that I have now!"....she screamed loudly inside her rooms.

She knew that even how long she write the letter, it will remain unpost. There were something that holding her back. Could it be some dark secret?. She look confused. Once she was the sweetest girl with a bright smile. She carry such a positive attitude and spread loves to everyone that she met.

But the bright smile slowly fading. Her tanned and toned skin becoming pale. She's no longer smile. She no longer talk that much. She wasn't that girl anymore. 

The pain that she had inside is destroying her slowly. Slowly from within.

"Will I ever found myself again?".

"I am dying inside..."

********************************************************************

Another few more days before new year. And I am writing this post on boxing day, thinking that I might be busy with work or I might stuck with some heavy drink on new year~~~ nah, I'm just kidding. But seriously.

As always, I am thinking to stop writing. But my hand knows it well. Maybe I should born to be a writer instead. I've ever thinking to take up some writing class just four months ago but I figure out that was so so soon. Maybe I should wait a little while, you know - I just landed here and trying to make myself comfortable.

So, yeah! I am official on-leave today until this Saturday. Particularly that will be tomorrow. Decided to hit the gym after my long deep sleep but instead I wakes up at sharp 7:30am and get myself a chinese breakfast. Well, they called a food court here as canteen. Back at the school days, my brain recognize canteen only exist in school. But yeah, it's kind of different here. Canteen means a food court. I had my breakfast and hit back home. Thought that I can get back sleep again but for some reason - I felt like I am in the mood of spring-cleaning today! That so unusual me. SERIOUSLY.

So i cleaned the kitchen. Sweep the floor. Re-arrange my heels,running shoes,walking shoes,slippers and flats. Then i moved to my room, fold my dress, baby tee,pants etc etc...

To cut the story short - by the time I've finished everything, it was almost 2pm. TIRING!

Took my shower and watched some movies before I hit the sack and goes la la land.

What a day. I wish I can have this luxury times everyday.

Be grateful. Till then!!!

And the street was cold. I am walking without knowing where to head for. It was raining the whole day. The street light was blurry. I got Bridgit Mendler in my player.

I need to stop. Somewhere. I need to stop somewhere. I am cold.

Feeling the warm tears dropping out. It struck me like a lightning. Knowing that everything was over. And, I won't have the nightmare anymore?

And after long waiting, I finally signed the paperwork. One good thing, I am free now. I am no longer belong to anyone else. But among all the freedom that I've managed to obtain, I've lost my soul.

"I wish I could tell you for the last time", I heard myself was mumbling.

"This is the courage that I have to take, and the soul that I need to let go".

I remember clearly, that morning as I woke up from deep sleep. The air that I breathe was same like any other days. Everything seem to be at the place. I grabbed my key and start the engine before I kissed her goodbye.

I read his text saying something hurtful. I wish I never ignored his text ever. I wish at some point, I could turned back time.

I remember that evening when I get home, the house was empty. For a moment, I am in denial. 

"Beep....Beep...hello it's Annie's house".

"Hey Annie, this is Kim. Look this may sound weird. But I just wanted to check if Amory is there?".

"Kim, ain't you suppose to be at the plane now?. I mean your daughter wasn't around...."

"Hello Kim. You there?...Kim?".

For a moment, I felt like I am lost. I felt like there were some short of oxygen pumping to my blood.

"What do you mean Annie?. There is no plane. Where is my daughter?!".

Tuuuuuuuut. The phone was hang up.

I remember that clearly. I remember that.

You've taking the whole of me.

To be continued.

And, its going to be new year soon.For months I've been worried about my weight and my new job seem to be so tough.

The job that I had before was cooler than now. I do not have to wake up so early and rush to work. I always have plenty of times to do my hair and make-up. I don't have to worry either I comes in time or if I missed my breakfast as I am the boss of my own. I am in-charged of everything. And that, I just have to worry if there are no people comes to work or the fund are not coming on time.

Now, my bosses are horrible. They are just like the pain in the ass. My colleagues are fake. Fake like a bitch.

And that's all stressing me up for months. I can't sleep at night. I am so so so fucked up.

Anyway, I had enough and ready to move on. Although there were too many things happening for this year - I take it all as a positive vibe for me to move on and be gorgeous. Lol!

Next year gonna be a good year ever!

I need to do something with that arms

So now I've been exercising for almost 3 weeks now. I lost about 2.5 KGs now. That was quite an achievement for me although this may sound just too little for you. But this is what makes me happy. You know nothing about it!

Although life being a bit busy now - I tried as hard it is to find time to work out. And, you know, working in Singapore wasn't that easy like what you think. Life here full of challenges. Either in career or fashion. Both plays two huge factors here.

I am trying as hard to keep up with that two factors. And for a starting, I got to get my ass to the gym like three times a week. That was so tiring! Especially when you got a rough day at office!

Fashion?. It's all like a competition here. And I must say - you gotta be mean. You just have to say straight to their face that -" hello, don't think you can bully me just because you got Kate Spade". So, everyday, you will see those crazy bitch face with fake face smiling on you and trying to be your friend and ditch you when you've got nothing good for them.

Still I am surviving and I learnt from the pain.

Message to all the bullies - Don't worry I send you a postcard when am up there. I'll promise!

Not everyone can deal with rejection. I am not so sure with me myself. But I guess, I could not handle it just to be honest to myself at least once and for all.

But human is always a human. We changed in a blink of eyes. Some may say no. But, I am dare to say that "Bullshit". Everyone changed just a matter of good or bad only.

I do changed. And I may say, I changed a little bit too fast. But it took me an ages to move on depending on how bad is the situation.

Everyone experience in some stages of life, feeling lost,heart-broken,losing hope etc.

And I did.

However, life must move on. And that's what I do.

Go travel. Experience new life new place see new people.

So, be brave. Don't afraid of changes.

It was almost six-months now. And, I am no longer staying at the same place the same country. As much as I always wanted, here I am now - writing my new story my new adventure.

So, I went to the Flyer finally. For me, it wasn't that great. But the view was spectacular from the top there. And I am proud I've conquered the flyer.

Just in case you were wondering. 

After so long, I am back from my hiatus. It will never be the same writing here compared to my previous blog. Now, I've realized how much I grow fat and how much dull is my blog. I'll promise I will better soon.

They day was automatically changed after I hit my new job. It wasn't that bad but sometime I realized how much I am missing my old job. However, there is no point brought up things which already happened. I know my life is worth it. I just need to work harder to catch my dreams.

For now, I have the plan to en-roll myself on some professional cert. and activities. I do this, because I don't want to wake up and regret about my incompleteness. So here it is:

1. ACCA
2. Mandarin Class
3. Music class - Guitar
4. Pilates

So all I want is Patience and strong will !

It wasn't that bad at all yo!

Today marked my second day at work. I am happy to say that I found one Sabahan friend here. The best part, she sit next to my desk and the moment I knew that we came from the same place, I can't stopped talking to her. I talked to her like I've known her for 10 years already.

My first day was all about the company history, the do's and the don't. After that, I was left at my desk doing nothing and I ended up reading all the emails. It was 200 plus emails and I read them all. Not really like read them all completely lah....baca permulaan sikit,tengah-tengah,pastu ending. Lol.

So far, everything just fine for now. And, I thank you Lord for always guide me to the right path even sometimes I am stubborn and lose faith in you. I thank you for never let me go. Amen.

Anyway, I would like to share one story about somebody dear to me. She was married like 3 years ago or so. She finally, chose to file her divorce because of her abusing husband. The saddest thing was that, her husband took away her only child. And left her with tons of debts. She decided to leave and moved to a new place with some hopes that she can start a new life. But just recently, her ex came to her house and took the car which she has been driving for three years already. And that happened when she was away from the city.
She didn't make much comment about that but I can sense her pain.

As a female, I felt sad and pain for her. I know how it feels when someone who are very dear to us did something hurtful like that. In her case, the husband took away the son and run while she was working. He gave no sign nor warning. And after that, you leave her with all the debts and after so many years, after all what you did to her, you came back and took away the only thing that left. I don't understand with this kind of attitude. You claimed that she destroyed your life, but you never think yourself what have you done to her. You are not even giving any financial support to your family beside you beat her to almost dead. And now, you said she destroyed your life. As a friend to her and as a friend to you once, and if you are reading this, I hope God show you the right way. Everyone did mistakes. She, you, me - everyone of us have flaws.

Sometimes, the things just don't work out. And the more you force it to happen the more ugly it will be. Trust me, no point to keep hatred for the love which you can't get. That is painful to love someone who doesn't loved you back, I know. But human feeling is not a robot which you can programme. When it doesn't meant for you, it will never be no matter how hard you want it. It will never be. So why force? Why revenge?. You may hurt their feeling just for that temporary but for the long run that will hit you back.

Dear friends out there, I know it is pain to love someone who never love you back. Forgive and let go. With that, you can forget.

Pray and never lose faith to God dear friend.

Stay in love. Good night.

Taken by Samsung Note 2

Disappointment is one of life's most uncomfortable feeling. Disappointment can be anger, frustration and hurt or emotion that I couldn't describe by words.
I used to get disappointed very fast when my needs doesn't meet my expectations. I woke up from sleep one day and realized that I am getting worse. I get disappointed over some little things very fast. I let it affected the people surround me.

Disappointment and expectation makes me a negative person. I couldn't live happily when I was in Malaysia. I spent most of my precious time worrying over things that I should not.

One day, a person who is very dear to me suggested if I could consider to start over somewhere out from my cocoon. It has been running over my mind since then before I finally decided to move here a couple of months ago.

It didn't start very well of course. I got hiccups here and there. But then, I believe most people do face some kind of dilemma to let go and holding to past. It has been two months now and everything are just so new to me. I am getting know the people and the places here. It just felt like I am starting all over again from zero.

But I like it.

So here I write down some of the guide that I practised along the way to be the positive and happy me.

1. Give myself a permission to fully feel the pain. From there I slowly build an acceptance to the situation that I am dealing with.
2. Avoid unrealistic expectation.
3. Be true.
4.Think positive.

We all live under some circumstances that are not ideal. But, it''s not life is the problem.

P/S I finally got a job :)

It happened to be that one of my longest good friend invited me for a group whatsapp chat. It was good to chat and re-unite with the old schoolmates. But it turned out ugly when one of them acted like they knows everything about you where they don't.

I felt that was quite annoying especially when it involves false information. Like, "Ouh dia di Singapore bah tu sebab sa dingar dia kawin Chinese Singaporean."

Feel like I want to slap her straight to the face and let her learn how to get the information right first before she open her mouth. One thing about being the orang kampung who is kepoh and busybody is they never get the information correct and always came up with their great make-up stories. "Bayangkan bah,yang tinggal jauh berpuluh ratus ribu pun dia buli dapat update cerita konon,kalau betul tidak apa juga."

I'd like to tell you a story about what had happened to one of my friend. She work as a Programmer and one day she go back to her home town for a short holiday. As usual, the orang kampung kepoh asking about what is her job in Kuala Lumpur. So she keep repeating that she works as a Programmer. Little did she know, after some time- there was a rumor saying that she work as a GRO. We as a friend was like, what the hell is going on. The best part is, her old mother believed all the rumours about. "Ini unsur fitnah ni."

Luckily, she have a brother here and the brother help to explain to the mother about what is her job and what is she doing.

I am not looking down on those person who is not highly educated. But as a human being, can we just get the detail right before we open the mouth?. Sometime, those old chaps especially mothers ( not all but some) when rumour hits they sometime fall in to.

But sometime really, it is a waste of time to argue with orang kampung who think he or she knows everything. It is like talking to a stupido.

Google

I've been talking much about my love relationship in the previous blog that I'd really forget what exactly I want in life. I've been focusing so much in finding a true perfect love. Once you've been into a wrecked relationship, all I could ever say is, I just want a perfect true love.

No. I won't talk about a relationship today. But I'll talk about how to live a happy life. And that would be :

1. Start saving now. Don't wait until you are in mid thirties. For now, I stick to the plan of keeping a $500 aside every month.
2. Start exercising. May it be running for a start. For now, I start doing badminton every Monday and during my free time.
3. Start exploring new things. For now, I start going for swimming. Honestly, I am scared with water. But this is one thing that I need to overcome.
4. Spend more time outside rather than the on-line stuffs.
5. Spend every weekend with the loved ones. I find that, time is ticking and it makes me think that I do not want to miss every bit of the moment with that someone special.
6. Do the give and take practice. Remember, men is not a dog. It is not hurt to share the loads. Perhaps, we could treat them once in a while rather than they keep on paying our foods and any other stuffs like that.
7. Start to eat more fruits rather than meat.
8. Start to love yourself. Every bodies are beautiful. Believe yourself and the confidence will bring the best of yourself.
9. Be positive.
10. Always believe to God and never stop praying.

Till then. Love always!!

When I was a kid, I have wrote quite a number of lists about my dream man. I used to fantasize my dream man as attentive,faithful, loyal and understanding. Plus a bit sense of humour will be good. And to add, romantic. Not forgetting, respect to one another.

I'd like the idea about a man who surprises his girlfriend. I'd like the idea about a man who holds his girl's hands and hug her most of the time when they walk down the street. I'd like the idea about a man who tells his girl how much he is into her. But in reality, you will never going to meet a perfect man who lived like what you have in your fantasy world.

In search of true love I've stumble with some stupid ass-hole may it from working place,friends of friends or online dating ( nah, I am kidding ).

The thing about me. I have an addictive thinking. There are time when I do judge based on first impression. There are times when I shoot a question and when they hit the wrong answer, I'll just back off. And of course, it never bring me to that true love after-all.

Until one day, someone asked me about my definition of true love. At some point, I want a relationship like a fairy-tales. Like the Cinderella or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. Honestly, it's killing me but fairy tales never exist. We can't keep a man with us 24/7 if that's what we called attentive. We can't change a man according to your needs because they are not a dog. Nonetheless, you are lucky if they hit 80% of your wishlist.

So, I have to admit that I am quite a perfectionist. But when it come to finding the right person, trust me nobody are perfect enough. Will it fair enough if I say, we have to judge ourselves first before we put the point on someone?.

Morale of the stories, when he choose you that's because you meant everything for him. Like I say, nobody are perfect so learn to appreciate.

P/S and please stop the addictive thinking. Be like kiwi. Green and peace.

Some say the ugliest words when they are angry. Some just shut up and listen. Some just walked off. And I am the type who says the ugliest words whenever I am angry and upset.

One of the silliest mistake I've done was saying this nonsense, "Fuck You" to someone who is very dear to me. It started on last Thursday afternoon. I am not so sure what was wrong with me that I lose control. We were shouting at each other. We were mad at each that perhaps and I hope that we don't (even) know what we were saying. What's even worst, I can't remember what we fight about.

Now, I am wondering what is he thinking. And it's hurting me when we don't even talk to each other.

Some say, loving too much can be heaven and hell. Often, I met a couple who says things like they never even fight even once. On the other side of the world, I met with an elder who told me stories like, anger and fighting will always exist in every relationship.

Today marked the fifth day.

"Dude,you are crazy and I am out of my mind".

P/S,I am sorry.

I couldn't sleep. I am practically has been an insomniac lately. No, it wasn't about the coffee. I'd stop taking caffeine for such a long time already. Could it be because I miss my country?.

Frankly, I will be coming home this Thursday. SK is away to Bali for a week and I have nowhere to go. This city is lovely but I just couldn't figure out what to do without him. So, tomorrow will be my second interview. I've rejected one interview today as I do not prefer to work on Saturday. The best part is, she can shoot me back by saying I'd informed her last minute. How last minute could it be as I told her 4 hours before?.Being me, I shoot her back. I know I am a foreigner but please I do not take that as one of the reason to bully me."Please Inai, jangan ko men-men sama sa ah."

Just a moment ago, SK asked me for a late night supper at Lavender. I told him,"No". Because I just don't feel like to and my money is running low. I'd say this because, before I left the country, my aunty taught me that sometime we have to learn how to say no to friends. She said, it is okay to be selfish. Because most of the time, people prioritize themselves first before friendship. Either you agree or disagree with me, this is the fact of life that everyone have to admit. Honestly, I started to agree with her. We live in a wild world,ain't we?

Alright,good night. Wish me luck for tomorrow.

P/S, I am a big fan of Avocado. You can call me Avo but that's not my name.

Source : Google

I read few good books lately. And one of it was quite catchy and I decided to write it here.
"Sometimes when you see or experience something really real, it makes you want to stop pretending. You feel like an idiot, a charlatan. It makes you want to get away from everything that is fake,whether it is innocently and harmlessly so,or something more serious; like your marriage." - Cecelia Ahern

Been working for quite sometimes. For the last couple of years, my job was exciting. But I did a silly mistakes by changing my job last year. Honestly I was blinded by the $$$. Has been warned by my friend but was too greedy that I ended up myself with depression. The negative vibe has been with me since then.

Every time I come to work, I feel like screaming but I can't. I have to fake myself and put a big smile on my face. Everybody seem to tell me that I've got the best boss ever. You won't believe me if I tell you how he underestimate my capabilities and downgraded me. One thing that I do not understand at that current time, if I am not good enough why would he promoted me in less than six months?. Macam buduh saja sa oh itu musim.

The best part, sudah dikutuk tahap gaban pun, I still stick with the job.

I don't want to get bald and jadi gila. I finally resigned on December 2013. Then, there was a huge row between me and my boss. Just because I wanted to resigne, he accused me for planning to make his company goes bankrupt. "Kamon Boss, sa ni orang biasa saja teda kuasa mau waste time buat mcm tu". During that particular time also, I just started dating my boyfriend which is working in the same company as I am. The best part, he went to see my boyfriend and talked bad about me. I was like, "hey,are you nuts?. Kitai juga ni boss ni."

"Boss klu ko ada hati sama sa...ko ckplah bah..nda payah bah mo kasi buruk sa."
"ko suka ba sa tu kunun kan boss?. sukup-sukupla tu boss, klu sdh kawin buat cara sdh kwin."

That was the worst job ever. I just could not imagine how I managed to survive. But I was lucky to hit the new job early this year. The bosses was good. It just that the colleague was so fake. She have been my big bully for almost 2 months. It was difficult to describe in words.

All this experiences left me with huge scars. Morale of the stories, don't just jump into the job because of that big $$. It's alright to work with not that big $$, as long as you are happy and you know at the end of it- it's worth the living.

Baiklah, saya tidak mahu jadi gila. 

Source : Google

I mean what is so fuckin' wrong to add all the childhood friends on your Facebook?. But now I realized how wrong I was. I can't have a peace of night without him sending me a text on the Facebook. And now, I could say that he did that almost every night.

His name is Albert. We were a childhood friends before he moved to another city.Few years later on, when we done with high school, I heard that he got married.He got married at his 20 after he found out that his girlfriend is pregnant. And soon after that, I did not hear anything from him anymore.

We were never that close when we were kids.In fact, I hate him a lot. He was the ugliest boy I've ever seen when I was a kid. But just the other day, he told me how much he regretted of leaving the town.

 "If I never leave, maybe there will be a chances for us to be in a relationship."
     ( Kalo sia tidak pindah, mesti ada sudah peluang tu kan kita couple.)

"Don't be stupid. Why would you think so?."
( Buduh ba ko ni. Napa juga ko pkir gtu..)

"Because you are the prettiest."
( abis ko cantik betul ba. )

Now that explained, why he always nice to me when were a kid. But I don't feel the same way. So I was just his crush.

This world is a crazy place!

The thing about moving to a new place is that everything seem so new. At times, some people did taking things for granted from me. Sometimes, I looked back to myself - do I look that desperate?.

Susahnya mahu setup hidup baru.

Let me tell you a story about the recent interview which I went. The job scope which they advertised were so much different from what they described to me. And  believe it or not, they asked me to do sales. They said not enough people. Lucky I asked them, what kind of sales they are talking about.

"Sending flyers to door to door."

I was like. Buduh ni orang ni tau.

To be frank, I am not a fresh graduate. I have wide experience in some areas and holds an authorized degree. I am not saying this to boost about myself but I certainly cannot accept the fact of these nonsense people who tries to downgrade me.

And sarcasticly I said before I left, you both are mom and daughter? Because you look alike.

Padan muka kamu. Terasa diri itu tua kan?. Maklumlah, perempuan ni sensitive pasal isu penuaan ni.

Haha. Kotoh.

Source : Google

The thing about moving to a new place is that you have to familiarize the street and getting to know the new neighbourhood. I am not so used to converse in Chinese. The only communication that I am good at is English. And honestly, I missed my mother-tongue.

The first week when I was here, I spent almost everyday watching movie online. SK brought me for a movie with some of his good friends that I barely know on the first day when I reach here. Then I spent the rest of the week by sleeping. ( I guess )

I bet he can sense my boredom,and finally he invited me for a short work out with his childhood friend Alan. It has been like so many many years that I have never done any badminton. To think back, I am quite a joke on that day. I barely can't hit the shuttle cock and my stamina was a failure.

I soon realized  how much I need to do a work out . I can't even take it even for 15-minutes.
I am fat. I am just fat and I hate it.

Fullstop.